


Forgive

by Galindrael



Series: A Very Dragon Age Christmas [7]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: DECFANFIC, Day Seven, Dragon Age: Inquisition spoiler, Gen, Hanging up stockings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-08
Updated: 2014-12-08
Packaged: 2018-02-28 15:27:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,613
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2737709
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Galindrael/pseuds/Galindrael
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ser Blackwall wanted to do something nice for the kids of Skyhold the only problem was that he had to go through the Inquisition's Commander...who didn't like him very much after a lie became exposed. Determined to give a little back, he proceeds with the daunting task ahead.</p><p>For the #DecFanFic contest</p><p>There are currently 22 parts to this series, the link, for some reason is broken- sorry for the issue, I'm trying to fix it (as of 1 February 2015)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Forgive

Blackwall walked quietly to the Commander’s office, avoiding some displeased looks that he had had the nerve to leave the stables; _traitor_ he heard once, _liar_ a moment later. He could handle most of them, most were brushed off or now becoming boring as he’s heard them so many times. The first one that really hurt was from Cullen himself, a man he greatly respected, “You disappoint me,” he said with a sneer plainly across his face, “I don’t know why she let you stay”, and he had walked off. Cullen was a few years younger than he, but the years of service had aged him some, in Blackwall’s eyes. An exclamation of disgust brought him to the present; He sighed, and felt each insult deserved and they solidified that he felt like he had to atone… Even though most days he wanted to leave. He _wanted_ to go, to be free of the sneers and unkind remarks but he couldn’t, he couldn’t leave _her_. He remembered her face that day, it had etched into his memory; she held her clipboard in her hand, a newly placed candle a top, white this time, and a look of painful, almost, apologetic sorrow increasing with each syllable she spoke as she read the charges.

This will be the fourth attempt he’s made to speak to Cullen since then. The last time he tried, Cullen answered his knock by opening the door only slightly to respond, voice dripping with agitation, that he wasn’t available for anything other than work that day, even though he had just heard the Inquisitor’s voice seconds before he knocked. He remembered being livid, _if you’re going to lie, lie well, right?_ He had walked back to the door that connected to Solas’ mural room and then he turned on heel to give Cullen a piece of his mind. But he stopped short when he heard Scáthach talking; her voice was light and sweet, a tone a mother would offer a child, almost. “You can do this, Cullen, I promise you can, darling,” he heard sobs wrenching from behind the shut door and could not envision the Commander reduced to what, surely, was a curled up ball. Blackwall had trouble speaking or talking or even looking at the Commander since then.

Blackwall had suffered similar things from his travels. Sometimes he’d remember a child’s screams or one of Lord Callier’s men’s faces. They haunted him still, of course, but he was improving and certainly he was not as bad as what the Commander was still, apparently, going through. He could not imagine that. _Ten years of nightmares and guilt, Maker, help him._ The difference between himself and the Commander was that he actively talked of such things where as Cullen maybe relented once every few months. With The Iron Bull, Maker, even Solas would sometimes speak of those things with him.  He knew what people were dealing with, mostly an unspoken truth among the soldiers. With grief and loss and re-living events you wish you could forget. With very few people in Skyhold actually talking to him and even less actually liking him, he was glad that The Iron Bull and Solas were among them at least.

 

Blackwall approached Cullen’s office and knocked twice, receiving a terse “Enter” from the Commander. He opened the door and saw Cullen’s quill dancing like mad at the behest of Cullen’s hand; his attention was diverted and he did not offer a glance towards his door. He dipped his quill again, “What is it?”.

Blackwall cleared his throat, “Commander,” Cullen now looked up in recognition and sat up straight in his chair and placed the quill back into the cup.

“What is it you wish of me?” Cullen asked, his tone flat and stern, features that could have been mistaken for stone, had the Commander’s jaw not kept its clenching.

“I have a favour,” Cullen’s nose scrunched up, “Not for me… For the refugees. The children ‘round here, I suppose,”  Blackwall took a step further into Cullen’s office and closer to the Commander.

Cullen leaned back into his chair, nodded slightly, and rested, at the wrist, his now folded hands on the desk, “What do you need?”

“The kids, they’re afraid,” Blackwall began slowly, “I wanted to do something for them. So I talked to The Iron Bull and him and his Chargers offered their help, so you know,” he straightened up slightly, wanting to appear just like any other soldier.

Cullen leaned slightly forward, his forearms now resting on his desk instead of his wrists, “What exactly are you suggesting?”

“Just something for the holidays,” he exhaled loudly, “I overheard some of them, the kids, talking about how they were too scared to go outside because they didn’t want to die like their brother or vanish like their sister and I thought we could offer them a distraction of some sort. I was going to do it myself but The Iron Bull thought I should go over it with you first, just in case,” he folded his arms tightly across his chest.

“Why did you bring this to me? Why not Scá-,” Cullen paused, “Why not The Inquisitor?”

 “I figured you’d be angrier if I had disturbed the Inquisitor,” Blackwall replied.

Cullen huffed, “Probably. Fine, what do you need?”

 

They spent a few moments going over exactly what was needed, nothing more, nothing less; it was all numbers and who to go to for which task. Cullen asked that if once he was done gathering supplies to let him know so he can alert The _Inquisitor_ know why no training was going on or why certain members of the inquisition would be working into the night. Blackwall surreptitiously wondered if that was just an excuse to see the Inquisitor again, but agreed nonetheless.

The first day, the shipment arrived on schedule, addressed to Josephine in beautiful calligraphy because she had contacts with a few extra favours in Orlais. Leliana had her spies count the exact number of the children taking refuge in Skyhold verified. Same number, give or take a couple if the pregnant mothers gave birth before the week’s end.

The next day, Leliana’s spies went to work again, collecting as much detail about each child as possible. Sera also left to collect a debt to help, which surprised everyone. Scáthach distracted Cullen long enough for the Chargers to take measurements of certain places in Skyhold and were gone before he returned to his post.

Everyone did their part: Josephine spoke to the nobles, Cullen spoke to the soldiers, Cassandra spoke to the Templars, Vivienne to the Chantry folk, Leliana to the workers, Bull and Varric both tackled the tavern folk, Dorian to the resident mages and Scáthach to the parents who yet to be aware of the intent. Solas only helped translate for the few elves in Skyhold that didn’t speak the common tongue and had a rather uncomfortable time explaining the Inquisition’s intent to the elves. Not because of the holiday itself, but because they were included; he received many hugs and the poor man had no idea what to do, usually he’d just gingerly pat their heads or backs until they released him.

Blackwall was becoming happier and happier with each passing day and staying up late every night into the small hours at his workshop in the barn. With everyone helping and distracted, they finished the hard part earlier than the projected date Josephine had given. The children didn’t notice that groups of soldiers or workers would be sent into town and return with an extra box or two, its contents being sent to the storage rooms. The certainly didn’t notice that Cullen had strategically placed chalk marks in Skyhold; Or that over the next few days, the workers came by every couple hours to add a nail here and there. At night, in the gallery, a few of the mothers volunteered to help by sewing and embroidering the rich cloth for a few hours at a time. The morning of, way before the sun was up, everyone who had volunteered met in the gallery.

 

Scáthach, wearing a dark green dress and her blonde hair down for once, came in a few moments later with Cullen in tow wearing his dress clothes that also had accents boasting the same dark green. For the first time for many of the volunteers it was the first time they saw the Commander in anything but his uniform and Scáthach dressed for her actual title; the air in the room now charged with excitement. 

“I would like to thank you all for coming, and am even more grateful about all of our efforts for this occasion. As you know, we have lost many over the year. Most to battle, but some to fever, age or childbirth are also among those numbers. Many of the children here lost their parents and in some cases the loss is not physical, but mental as well,” She paused looking to Cullen who smiled at her, encouraging her to keep speaking, “This Morn’ we will hang 48 stockings for the children of Skyhold and because of your donations, and hard work, each of them are filled. Ambassador Josephine,” Scáthach gestured to Josephine in the crowd who waved wildly so everyone knew who and where she was, “will have the master list for where each is to be hung, should you forget which you were supposed to hang,” Scáthach walked to one of the crates holding the stockings and picked one up, and picked out something and raised it high, “Ser Blackwall has been working tirelessly to make sure each and every one of the children here at Skyhold got at least one toy for themselves, so please, be as the Maker; Forgive and welcome Ser Blackwall,” she gestured to him and Blackwall just stood there, legs locked in place.

A polite applause erupted and Josie lightly pushed him and only at the contact did he walk up and stand next to the Inquisitor and the Commander. His face was hot and the feeling of so many eyes on him made him constantly shift his weight and fiddle with his hands which were behind his back. A familiar timbre rang out from Blackwall’s side.

“Ser Blackwall came to me with this proposition. He saw the pain and loss in those who should not shoulder those things. Things I had become so used to seeing,” Cullen paused, “that I could no longer see it in the faces in front of me. My Lady Inquisitor saw that Blackwall has only ever intended to do good in times of great stress and misfortune and that is why I would like to formally apologize to Ser Blackwall,” Cullen turned to him, and offered him his hand, which Blackwall took in near stunned disbelief, as Cullen placed his free hand on top of their clasped ones and lightly squeezed before releasing his hands altogether, “I am ashamed to say that I let your past wrong-doings affect what I think of the changed man before me. I cannot imagine someone judging who I am today for the naïve man I was so long ago. So,” Cullen pulled a piece of paper from his jacket, “I would like to offer this on behalf of the Inquisition and on behalf of the Queen of Ferelden, and the current Warden-Commander of Ferelden”, Cullen offered the sealed letter to Blackwall.

Blackwall took the paper in his hands, a bit shaken at the potential for the words within; Having a letter personally addressed to you bearing the royal seal was a bit daunting. The parchment was of the best quality and he couldn’t help to rub it between his fingers despite their shaking. Cullen coughed and Blackwall looked to him and nodded before he slipped a finger under the lip of the paper, slightly tugging at it to pull the scarlet wax from its place.

It read:

_Ser Thom Rainer,_

_The Inquisitor sent me a letter back with one of his majesty’s men who was already intending to deliver a report from Skyhold to myself. Although I cannot pardon you for events that occurred in Orlais, I am able to offer you this; once this is over I will have King Alistair or one of his men return to Skyhold to bring you back to Vigil’s Keep to finish what Ser Blackwall intended for you- The Joining. If you survive, upon arrival at Weisshaupt Fortress, I will reward you the rank of Warden-Constable for your efforts against this current threat- with permission from the First Warden and his Warden-Commander’s approval already given. If myself, or my husband, his majesty King Alistair, perish in battle before this is all over, bring this letter with you to Weisshaupt as proof. I’m sure you understand the gravity of the situation at hand, since your Inquisitor made some choice decisions regarding my fellow Wardens. Know that I do not consider that a reflection of yourself and it was at the behest at Lady Josephine Montilyet and my dear friend Leliana that I even took this into consideration in the first place. I hope to meet you in person and see that you are as wonderful as Lady Josephine Montilyet claims and as much of a changed man that the Inquisitor and her Commander have said. Maker, guide us._

_Sincerely,_  
The Queen  of Ferelden,  
Warden-Commander of Ferelden,  
Arl of Amaranthine- ex offico,  
Lady Elissa Theirin-Cousland of Highever

 

Blackwall froze. _Did I just read that correctly? Am I going mad?_ Blackwall’s eyes darted across the words again, and still, the message stayed the same. Scáthach had started to talk again but the words never met his ears. He looked into the crowd and saw smiling faces that had been glaring at him just weeks before. The sound of applause followed by everyone scurrying about to hang all the stockings before the children noticed something was amiss pulled him back to the present.

 But what was nicknamed “The Inner Circle” by the common folk lingered in the gallery; Each offering Blackwall a handshake or a hug, except Sera who gave him a playful punch. When it was just Cullen and Scáthach left in the room with Blackwall, the bearded man finally spoke.

“I don’t deserve this, Inquisitor. I-,” he fumbled, “I lied and impersonated and-,” he froze as Scáthach touched his face lightly, Cullen visibly tensed. She smiled and retracted her hand

“You deserve the kindness you give freely. Going into the Fade,” she paused long enough to look at Cullen and then back to him, “it showed me things… And gave me a lot of perspective. I forgive you and it was a lot easier than I thought. So, please, forgive yourself as well”. Scáthach was surprised when Blackwall pulled her into a hug but Cullen was more surprised when he tugged the Commander’s sleeve as well.

Sera came bounding in with Bull, “Hey Beardy get lost?” Sera laughed loudly at the sight, “Look at you idiots all warm and fuzzy, and- ah!” Bull picked her up and brought her to the group to which The Iron Bull made sure everyone was in on the hug. For a moment it was picturesque…until Sera spoke.

“Oh, did you finally bathe you smell nice,” she quipped

“Thanks, Fuzzball, I see you haven’t” He smiled in the middle of the hug.

Their laughter echoed in the Skyhold’s gallery and as the children slowly woke from their beds, the laughter grew and grew. The sounds of children playing in Skyhold made the day a bit brighter and everyone’s heart’s lighter.

**Author's Note:**

> Day 7, a little late. I got so caught-up doing things today that I nearly forgot about this. This one was a little weird for me? For some of the fics I've chosen to just nod to the prompt instead of it outright being about whatever word(s) we're given, so here's me addressing that bit because sometimes it feels to constraining for whatever I manage to crank out. But it's served its purpose nonetheless. I've been adding little instances throughout my past 7 works to build up for day 9,which might be a bit late so I can make sure everything is in its proper place before I submit. Until then, enjoy!


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